Helping me, help me!

While spending years in the United State Army, it was clear, that clear communication was the most important asset we had. An M16 A2 Rifle was useless if you didn’t know which direction to point it, or who to shoot. We gain this information with different forms of communication, and in the Army it was usually a code. For example, we knew not to shoot you if you answered a security question correctly. First there’s a challenge, then there’s the answer. The code to know is the word blue. See if you can follow the conversation; Guard: “Halt! The skies are fair in the fall.” Person: “Yes, it’s a pretty shade of blue during this time of year.” No the Guard knows the Person is a “friendly” and won’t shoot him.

Don’t shoot!

   Yelling out don’t shoot doesn’t work. The need to “Build a Confirming Climate is important in order to stay alive here. In my example, a few sentences in the Army, hold more meaning then average. Staying calm and remembering your communication training is absolute.

   In my example, a soldier was approached and challenged. While there was a lot of tension on both sides each person had to stay focused and speak clearly. Patience is going to be the best ally here, while you take the time to send a clear message without escalating the tension or emotions. Building a confirming climate is critical here, this way both parties can understand each other and move to the next step of their communication. This is why I believe this is one of the most valuable guidelines, having a level plane on which to communicate is crucial for understanding each other.

   Respecting Diversity in Relationships is another guideline that is crucial in all walks of life. In the Army I worked with many races and cultures. My unit has Mexican, Spanish, and Korean. We also had black and white Americans. I only say this because my black friends didn’t consider themselves “African American.” They considered themselves American, they weren’t even sure if their family came from Africa and didn’t assume just because they were black they were from Africa.

   This changed my opinion of how we classify races and cultures. And that the stereo typical “politically correct” way of saying these things wasn’t accurate and not everyone agreed with it. Really we need to tread lightly around cultures and races, because even in smaller groups we all don’t agree on how our culture or race should be identified or even communicated with.

Slang in some circles is perfectly acceptable but in the same culture in an older range it’s not. Certain curse words are tolerated with younger American’s while older American’s still find them all offensive.

Single relationships can change over time. At times we want to be close and other times we want distance. It’s these fluxuations that evolve relationships, and can damage them. One person may take offense to the other who wants space. It’s only a matter to respect each other and the range of the way we interact with each other. If we do that, and communicate our grievances in a positive way we’ll get through to each other.

   Affirm and Asserting Yourself is another guide that can and will help you in the work place. By establishing who you are, you’re letting people know you exist. You gain value around people and show to others you matter. Giving yourself a voice in relationships allows others to know who you are and what you stand for. You’re really giving them a chance to understand, respect and honor your own needs, preferences and the ways you interact with others.

Asserting yourself doesn’t mean you put your needs above others, (which people thing at times.) it means you clearly state what you believe to be right or how you feel. You don’t have to disrespect another’s view or their idea. Simply state yours and put it out there. You be surprised to see how others may change their mind, especially if you have good reasoning behind what you believe.

   It is possible that these guidelines can help, but only in practice. Realizing that others won’t have the same insight as you will play a large role in knowing whether or not you’re a success. Evaluate the situation and see how other’s react to you and you will know whether or not you’re putting these practices into good use. It’s a good idea to wear patience like a shirt. It’s only a matter of time before you notice the changes you have learned. Don’t be alarmed when someone says how diplomatic you’ve become!

References

J.T. Wood, Interpersonal Communication, (2010) Communication and Personal Identity pgs 210-212